The Horrible Rash

 First of all, I just wanted to send a huge thank you to all of the supportive comments and phone calls I got after my last post on breast feeding. It was an amazing help to have such an outpouring of love and support, so thank you to everyone for that!!  I took some photos to chronicle the horrible rash that Oliver got on his face to remind me of why I am not complaining about a dairy-free, soy-free, egg-free, wheat-free existence. THIS is the rash that freaked me out and had me calling the pediatrician. I literally google searched "can infants go into anaphylatic shock from breast milk". I was super worried, which was interesting because I noticed that I don't tend to freak that bad with the second baby. =)


So Oliver's rash got to this point....This was last Tuesday morning.

 THIS was by Tuesday evening. Yeah, I FREAKED out. His poor eyes and lips were so swollen. My poor poor little man! Had to put mittens on his hands to keep him from scratching the hell out of his itchy little face.

This photo was two days ago, Saturday. The rash was starting to clear up but a bit scabby from where the bumps were a little bit oozy. =( His skin still felt really rough.

 

This is today, Monday. His face is finally looking better. It's a bit dry and scaly but thanks to several message boards on BabyCenter (Food Allergies, Babies with Eczema, Elimination Diet)  we discovered the cream CeraVe for eczema and it's been working wonders on his delicate little cheeks. 

 

I hope I NEVER have to see that scary rash again! So when I try to remind myself why the hell I'm subjecting myself to the "Air Diet", well, that face is not something I want to see again. We had decided to do formula while I pump to help Oliver's face clear up. That lasted for three whole bottle feedings! He took SOOOO long to drink the bottle and then by the time I pumped and cleaned up, I MAYBE got 30 min sleep before the whole process started again. Sleep deprived AND hungry were not an option so we went back to breastfeeding and have thankfully seen a major improvement already. He's back to my sweet, happy go lucky little man!

Emma Meets Oliver

I still love you Sleepy Wrap!

The Sleepy Wrap will never let me down! Emma on the left and Oliver on the right. Ahhhh. =) Ironically the picture is taken right around 5 1/2 weeks for both of them, when they enter that "please please mommy hold me all the time!" phase. I don't mind....who wouldn't love starting at that sweet face...but it is impossible to get anything done. Until I throw him in this and he's sound asleep in 5 minutes or less and will sleep for 90 minutes as peaceful as can be. =) Looking at him today reminded me so much of Emma, although I am seeing so many of their differences already. (i.e. Oliver sleeps and Emma didn't want to waste time doing that!).

Emma, 5 weeks

Oliver, 5 weeks

 Clearly the little mister has more of an Asian persuasion than Emma. Smaller eyes, totally different mouth and chin. Same exact Lui nose and daddy ears! =) Oliver is a bit darker complected than Emma and as a boy apparently has no problem rocking the "barf on the shirt" look! I just love them both so much! Stay tuned for the video I keep meaning to upload when Emma first meets Oliver at the hospital....

The Milk Truck

Pregnancy, childbirth and labor are all things I would be willing to go through over and over again. Seriously. Larry says I was made to have babies. While that may be true, breastfeeding is NOT something I was made to do. Read no further if you can't handle a little TMI about my boobs and some profanity. Well probably a lot of profanity...

Breastfeeding is a complete mind fuck. "It's the right thing to do." "Your baby will be healthier." "It's an amazing bonding experience." All fine and dandy until your 5 week old angel has the gnarliest face rash from something you ate, barfs up everything that he just sucked out of you and cries and curls up like his tummy is killing him. It fucking sucks to see your baby in pain and to know it has SOMEthing to do with your diet but you have no fricking idea exactly what it is yet. I told Larry that if Oliver had food issues like Emma did when I was breastfeeding then he was getting a ticket to the formula train. Well I haven't had the heart to do that. And if he has a milk protein intolerance like I suspect then formula will cost more money than I am making right now. That isn't saying much since California sucks for new moms and I'm 1week away from getting paid nothing to stay at home for 8 more weeks to take care of my son. But that could be a whole other blog post. Back to the boobs.

Let's rewind to 5 weeks ago when my sweet little angel was born. Actually, let me rewind to 3 1/2 years ago when I was pretty much in the same mental shit hole that I am in right now. Barfing, green poop, face rash, rashy booty, refusing to nurse like my boob had toxic acid coming out of it....these were all things I experienced with Emma. This was in addition to her shitty latching which led to bleeding, scabs and pain for more weeks/months than I can remember. After a couple months of troubleshooting, I somehow began surviving on the "Air Diet"...you know the amazing ass diet where you can't eat dairy, soy, or wheat. Essentially this means I ate a shit-ton of oatmeal, Amy's Black Bean Tamales and steamed chicken and veggies for NINE months. Quite honestly, I never loved the whole experience, which is why I swore my next kid was NOT going to put me through that shit again. After Emma had a bagillion ear infections, all I could think was, "What the eff is this bullshit about breastfeeding making your baby healthier?" Crock. Of. Shit. I threw in the towel after pumping was no longer outputting enough to really feed her, followed by Emma biting me with one of her new teeth and drawing blood, followed by the extreme selfish need to have a deep dish stuffed Chicago style pizza with a mother load of cheese for my 31st birthday. I wish someone would have told me before that awesome adventure (insert extreme sarcasm) that a) Breastfeeding is WAY harder than anyone will ever tell you buuuuut b) if it is still pretty painful after a few weeks, then something is wrong. Yeah, would have been useful information before I mentally committed to "doing the right thing".  They tell you all the ins and outs about how to give birth to a baby but no one really prepares you for this!!

I am the milk truck. I can comfort my son in a heartbeat by plopping a boob into his mouth. I can't really console him if he is just fussy but not hungry because if I hold him anywhere near my rack, he will start rooting and become horizontal, even if he isn't really hungry. He smells me from across the room and will go from calm to ravenously STARVING in a heartbeat. Speaking of rack, I shrank down to a negative A cup after Emma and have returned to a hearty D cup for the sake of my son. The first two weeks of breastfeeding with my barracuda eating pork chop was well, really fucking painful. When the lactation consultants tell you it shouldn't hurt, they are lying. Because no matter how perfect the latch is, it ALWAYS hurts at first until your boobs get used to being tugged on for 10 hours a day. To his credit, Oliver is much better at nursing than his sister. He doesn't dilly-dally, goes to town and is finished in 10-20 minutes. Awesome. I fortunately recognized the symptoms of overactive letdown/oversupply (oh yeah, I had that shit with Emma also!) by the second day after my milk came in so I switched to block feeding (basically only giving him one boob per feeding) and that rectified his fussiness and green poops pretty quickly. I went easy on the dairy at first and never really consumed more than cheese on a sandwich or a few slices of pizza during the first two weeks. Week 2, Oliver started getting a slight rash on his cheeks. "Baby acne" they say....so common in boys. Okay, whatever. After a week of the rash getting worse and seemingly more red in the evenings and after eating, my mommy instinct said it was something more. Lactation nurse confirmed yesterday that his face rash is most definitely an allergic reaction, not baby acne. No shit.

I cut dairy out of my diet about a week and a half ago and decided to be safe and cut out soy as well. Oliver continued to have serious tummy issues in the evening and after further investigation, I discovered that my prenatal vitamins had soy in them so I cut those out a few days ago. Eggs were on my radar as a no-no after a projectile, mucousy vomiting day but I had also eaten a hot dog that day, which had hydrolized soy protein. Took a chance and ate Larry's delicious homemade turkey noodle soup the other night (with homemade EGG noodles) and boy do I regret that! Oliver's poor face is a hot mess. It was starting to look a wee bit better today. I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary today (pinchy nasty ass oatmeal with almond milk for breakfast and grilled chicken and apples for lunch) but boy has his tummy had some ish today.

We both had our breakdown by 7 tonight. He cried and puked while I cried. I want to quit. I want to give up. This is just too hard. Yet I find myself nursing him again, with his hand on my chest and those big brown eyes looking up at me and I find the strength to persevere. No one else gets these moments with him except me. What if he's my last baby and I regret giving up? Yep, it's a constant everyday mind fuck. I keep telling myself just not to give up on the hardest days. The milk truck must stay in business.

4 Weeks

One of the highlights of the past four weeks is this photo. Pure innocence. Emma loves her brother so very much. It just melts my heart.

Overall, being the mommy of two is an unexplainable journey. It is one that brings me so much love and happiness. I am blessed with a calm, sweet little boy that sleeps about 22 hours out of the day. He eats ravenously and at frequent intervals but eats quickly and doesn't dawdle like Emma did. Last Friday he was up to 9 lbs 1 oz already. He is a freaking porker!

I am also blessed with a loving, helpful daughter that is helping me practice my patience. (Yes, she has been a bit needier than usual).

Halloween, my Tinkerbell and my tiger

She has ridiculous poses

Oliver's first real bath. Oliver LOVES The Blooming Bath from my co-worker Heather. He thoroughly enjoys bath time and never ever complains. He just sits back and relaxes!

Sibling love. Notice the gnarly face rash that my guy started getting. Seemed to be beyond "baby acne" so I have gone dairy free for the time being to see if it helps.

One month old already. *Sigh*

Not sure where exactly he was trying to go. While he isn't awake much, when he IS awake, he is very active and loves chatting with mommy!

Mommy's Beefcake

Time is flying by and Oliver is already two weeks old today! At his one week checkup, he weighed 6 lbs 14 oz so they wanted me to bring him in for a weight check at 2 weeks (to make sure he was gaining appropriately) and to make sure he no longer had any signs of jaundice. Well, this little pork chop really likes to eat and weighed in at 7 lbs 14 oz today, meaning he gained a pound in just a week! Clearly he has no problem in the food department! He seems to be handling things in my diet okay and his spit up is very limited so I will keep my fingers crossed that he does NOT have ridiculous tummy issues like his sister did! We do not have to continue waking him up at night to eat every 2-3 hours since his jaundice is all cleared up (although I let him sleep the past two nights and he gave us a 5 hour stretch one night and a 4 hour stretch last night....Hooray!)

Poor Emma came home with a fever on Friday and was laid up with an icky cold all weekend. She was more upset that I wouldn't let her hold her brother than she was about feeling bad. We kept her home from school yesterday and she seemed back to her feisty old self so she returned to school today. Today is Larry's last day home before he goes back to work tomorrow. =( I have an adorable video of Emma singing to Oliver but it is being lame about uploading from my phone so I will post that once technology decides to cooperate!

Oliver's Birthday

 After several days of false labor, I knew Monday night was going to be the night to head into labor and delivery. After all the contractions I had on Sunday that ended in NOTHING, Monday rolled around without a peep from my little man. Walked a few miles and not a single contraction. This was playing out quite similar to my delivery with Emma. Just after dinner, I started to have more regular contractions and put Emma to bed around 8:30. I was still having some contractions at this point, but nothing too intense. Since I knew the whole check in process took some time, we finally decided to head in to the hospital around 10:30 pm. Contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart but I could still talk and walk through them. I was worried that I wouldn't be dilated enough to get to stay but was at 4 cm upon check-in. Since they wanted contractions to be stronger and closer together, they sent us up to the looooooooong hallway on the labor and delivery floor to walk for awhile. They suggested I walked for an hour or two and return to triage to get rechecked to see if I was dilating any further. Well, the cervical check when I arrived was TORTURE. Seriously one of the most painful things I experienced while at the hospital, so I was bound and determined to walk my ass off and not return to triage until the contractions were about to drop me to the floor. Larry walked by my side for almost two hours. I stopped as needed when the contractions were getting more painful but was determined to keep walking. We probably walked a good 4 miles, baaaaack and foooooorth. The scenery was getting pretty boring. There were 16 sets of turquoise and purple tiles amongst the white tiles on the floor, 6 white tiles between sets. Yep, I stared at the damn floor so much I counted tiles. Lol. We walked from 11:45 pm until about 1:45 am. I stopped and timed contractions on my phone and they were 3-4 minutes apart the whole time we walked but near the end were lasting closer to a minute and a half. My back was starting the hurt and my butt cheek was cramping so I decided to head back to triage and PRAY I had made some progress.

Once back in triage, they said they weren't going to check me and just send me up to the labor and delivery floor. They asked if I could still walk or if I needed a wheelchair. "Oh, I can walk still" I proclaimed. And then I got into the elevator with one of the worst contractions ever and thought that's what I was going to get for being pompous. We got to our room and they checked me. I was pretty disappointed to only be 5 1/2 cm along. I was hoping to have been at least at 6 cm. =( When I had Emma, things progressed so much quicker so I had a feeling we were going to be in for a long night as my little man took his sweet time making his way into the world. It was only 2am on Tuesday morning and I began to get worried that I wouldn't even have this kid until Wednesday.

My IV was put in at 2:30. For once it was not a horrendous experience from a bald paramedic intern so I was happy that the nurse put it in almost painlessly. Contractions were getting stronger so I requested an epidural about 2:45. While waiting, the nurse gave me some Phentanol (again, I never know how to spell this!) through the IV. She said it wouldn't take away pain but would take the edge off and make me feel like I had a few glasses of wine. After that, it took me almost 10 minutes to fill out the epidural consent form as I was a bit loopy. The anesthesiologist came in about 3:15 and gave me the magic medicine. I mean, I respect those that choose to go without medication, but good lord it made me so much more comfortable. The doctor came in to see me shortly after this. Oddly enough, the doctor on-call was the same doctor that delivered me with Emma (There are 5 doctors in my practice that I saw throughout my pregnancy but there are 3 nights a month where they rotate in a doctor out of the practice. I got this doctor both times...what are the odds!). She said she knew my labor went pretty quickly with Emma but she would be back around 6 am to check to see how I was progressing.

At 3:30, after the epidural had kicked in enough, the nurse went to put in the catheter since the epidural left me unable to get out of bed. She said, "Wow, that's a big jump" and low and behold I had reached 8 cm. =) She had me lay on my side and just as Larry and I decided maybe we should catch some shut-eye, my water broke. It felt like a giant explosion and thank goodness for the blanket over me or I probably would have soaked my poor husband like an amusement park ride. I called for the nurse to come back in. "I think my water broke". "Well, I wouldn't be surprised because you are having some pretty crazy contractions up there! I"m going to check you again". Voila, 9 1/2 cm and almost ready to have a baby. She told me to roll over to my other side to help that last piece of cervix move back and said she was going to go get the doctor to come up because I would probably have a baby within the next two hours. By 4:15, I was fully dilated and ready to push. The doctor came in and the nurse said, "Okay, let's set a goal to get this baby out exactly two hours after I put your IV in so push like a champ so he can be born by 4:30." Five or six good pushes later, Oliver was born....2 minutes late according to the nurse, at 4:32 am on Tuesday October 23. After having Emma, I thought it would be impossible to love another baby as much as I loved her. But the feeling was unexplainable and I was so in love with this little boy already I felt like my heart might explode. He laid on my chest for about an hour before they weighed and measured him. 7 lbs 5 oz and 19 1/2 inches long (about 1/2 lb bigger than Emma and 1 1/4 longer).

Not happy about being so cold

First photo of my red-faced little man

Proud daddy and his little boy

Our first family photo (Dang I look tired!)

Skin to skin with Mama

 

Can't help but stare at this little guy! Waiting for sister to come to the hospital to meet her brother

Emma is so eager to hold her brother for the first time!

Love at first sight

"Aw, he's so cute!"

"Guys, his eyes are so beautiful!"

Our new family of four

I was so overwhelmed with emotion when holding my two kids together for the first time.

Taking our little peanut home. He was an angel for his first car ride!

 Oliver turned a week old this morning and I can't believe how quickly time is flying already. I feel so very blessed because he is a wonderful, easy going baby. He still sleeps most of the time and eats like a champ. Fortunately breastfeeding is going much better with him than it did with Emma. I guess that's where the second baby is easier because you know what to expect. Emma adores her brother and smothers him with love whenever she can. She is super helpful and the best big sister ever. I am so filled with joy and love and am loving being home with my new little family. Larry will be home for another week and then I will be on my own during the day. I am excited to watch this little guy grow and to see the kids grow up together. It is such an unexplainable feeling but I want to ride this "high" as long as I can. =)

Overdue

Apparently due dates mean nothing to my children because October 20th has come and gone and here I am, still fricking pregnant. I wouldn't mind the waiting so much if my comfort level was a bit higher. I have been experiencing "early labor" crap since Wednesday. Larry and I were ready to head to the hospital Wednesday night after a few hours of consistent 6-7 min apart contractions. Not breath-taking painful, but not comfortable. Then they stopped. We were SOOO certain that Oliver was on his way that Larry stayed home on Thursday. Nope, still no baby. Same on Friday. Saturday came and went and our official due date was pretty uneventful. Yesterday (Sunday), I would have put money on the fact that Oliver was going to arrive. I woke up in the morning and the "bloody show" was in full effect. Contractions started about 9:30 in the morning about 10 minutes apart and continued until 12ish about 6-7 minutes apart. We were ready to go but I told Larry I felt like I should wait until I was in a bit more pain. I was uncomfortable but not dying by any means. I put Emma down for her nap, certain that we were going to be leaving shortly for the hospital. By 3 pm, contractions were continuing at the same interval but not with increasing intensity so I told Larry I wanted to try to wait it out and stay at home until after Emma went to bed. "Babe, that's 5 hours away, no way." I just didn't feel ready to go yet. Again, more emotional to leave my baby girl than to actually deliver a baby. Contractions waxed and waned for the next several hours. I had zero appetite and anything that I did eat gave me almost immediate bubble guts and exited the premises. I couldn't eat dinner. I had been spotting on and off all day. Contractions were not letting up. I asked Larry to go on a walk with me after dinner (I passed on the pizza) and I had to stop 3 times around the block with contractions 5 minutes apart. "I don't think you're going to make it until Emma goes to bed, hon." I was determined to tough out the last hour before her bedtime. I laid down with her in her room and contractions seemed to subside. Right before I put her to bed, Emma said, "Mom, I want to talk to Oliver." She lifted my shirt and said, "Oliver, this is Emma speaking (yeah, she's only 3!). I want you to come out now because it's taking too long and mommy is going to take care of you." I almost wanted to cry. Well, he didn't listen. She fell asleep. Larry asked if I was ready to go and I, again, insisted on waiting. I waited an hour for contractions to pick up. Well, they didn't. I went to lay down in our room because quite frankly, I knew in my heart this was not happening tonight. AND, it didn't. I maybe had four contractions the whole night. When I woke up pregnant this morning, I thought it was just a bad joke. I cried. I know, so selfish, right? I should be grateful to even be able to go through this experience. Buuuuut, I am DONE. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I'm uncomfortable. I am sick of being toyed with. I am ready to hold this baby. I am frustrated. Come out Oliver! I don't need you to compete with your sister for who can come out the furthest past their due date!

Strep B or not Strep B...that is the question

Yesterday I had my 39 1/2 week check up. So my first Strep B culture at 37 weeks came back positive but they "forgot" to run sensitivity tests on the culture to see which antibiotic they could give me in lieu of penicillin (awesome allergy runs in the family). So they re-did the culture last week. At my appointment yesterday, the doctor told me the culture came back negative for Strep B so they were not able to run the sensitivity test. She therefore wanted to do ANOTHER culture. I know, I'm so lucky. She said she wanted to go ahead and treat me as if I had it just because it can be harmful to the baby but they didn't know what medicine to give me yet. She asked how I had been feeling and the report I gave her went a little something like this...

Me: "I'm sick of false labor." (I thought we were going to end up in labor and delivery the night before because I had been having contractions 6-7 minutes apart for about 2 hours, but then they stopped)
Dr: "Yeah, that's typical. Good practice for your uterus."
Me: "My back is killing me."
Dr.: "Labor is probably coming soon. Do you have any questions?"
Me: "Yep, can you tell me when this kid is coming out? They've told me the past couple weeks that I wouldn't make it through the weekend and welp, here I am."
Dr: "Well, perhaps I can give you a better idea today after I check you."
Me: "Oh yeah, about this whole 'checking' thing. Good luck finding my cervix. They've had a hard time getting to it the past couple weeks because little mister's head is blocking the way."
Dr: perplexed look, "Well lets see where we're at....." After a moment, "Woah, how are you still pregnant!? His head is practically falling out! Well you're 2 cm dilated (cervix was closed at previous appointment) so I think he'll be here by the weekend." =)

We went ahead and scheduled an induction for next Thursday Oct 25th in case he has not arrived yet. I feel like giving my kids deadlines speeds their ass along. =) However, after another long night last night of contractions on and off, a gnarly back ache and the icky falling out of the mucous plug since last night, I have a feeling we will be having a baby either today or tomorrow. I am excited and scared shitless all at the same time. Experiencing labor once gives you some degree of "expectations" and now I have Emma on my mind all the time too and how to keep things consistent for her.

She has been a bit more challenging lately. I'm sure she senses that her baby brother will be here soon and life as she knows it will be changing. She is extra clingy with mommy, excessively defiant and pretty emotional. Any redirection lately has sent her into a crying spiral. It has been hard to be patient with her but I know she needs me to be as patient as possible right now (easier said than done!) I am excited to see her as a big sister and to watch my kids grow up together. I know she will be amazing and we will all need time to adjust but things will work themselves out. She is also a pain about taking pictures so that is why I don't have very many lately. Here are a few from our trip to the pumpkin patch on Sunday. 

 

She is such a cheese ball!

 

"Fine, I'll sit with you but I'm not looking at the camera!"

 

Perhaps the last belly shot?

And as comparison, here was my 40 week belly with Emma. She was still sitting up way higher than brother!

Now we wait

39 weeks. My last day of work was Tuesday. Tuesday was a kick my ass kind of a day. No amount of planning or prepping was going to make it easy for me to relinquish control of my classroom for the next three months. Emma was an angel and hung at at work with me from 4 until 7 when I finally threw in the towel. "Mommy, I feel very hungry now." So after feeding her three mini cupcakes from my students, I got her a McDonald's Happy Meal and called it a day. Great parenting, right?

I got home. Let out a sigh. Laid in bed with Emma for a bit before I fell asleep. Woke up and crawled into my own bed. Cried away all of my stress. Fell back asleep and then woke up with a gnarly sore throat to begin my maternity leave ill. Clearly the weight of the world finally caught up to me. I keep telling myself super teacher needs to go hibernate and mommy mode needs to come back to the forefront. Maybe now that I am officially un-allowed in my classroom I will actually relax until my son arrives. Yeah right...you have all met me before. =)

Yesterday I had a checkup at the doctor. The cervical checks at this point seriously suck due to my posterior cervix and Oliver's big head being in the way. He is still super low but I am not dilated. The best way I could describe it to Larry is like having someone repeatedly hitting my crotch with an aluminum baseball bat and that throbbing pain just being a part of my constant state of being. Don't be jealous. =) My Group B strep also came back positive. Apparently this only occurs in 30% of women which just means they will administer IV antibiotics before I deliver so it doesn't pass along to the baby. Buuuuut, I'm allergic to penicillin and apparently they didn't do a "sensitivity test" to the Group B culture so they had to obtain another culture so that they could determine which antibiotic to give me that would not be resistant. So I fall into this 30% category and apparently only 20% of women have Rh-negative blood which requires a shot right after delivery and yep, I have that too. I am just so special. =) I go back to the doctor next week if I am still pregnant. That was maternity leave day 1.

Day 2. I realized that I hadn't gotten all of the components of Emma's Tinkerbell costume yet. So I did that this morning. I hadn't "preadmitted to the hospital". Check. Needed to finish some testing protocols for work. Check. Reimbursement forms finally filled out. Check. Oh yeah those PTA membership dues that the teacher rep on the board should PROBABLY pay. Check. I topped that off with catching up on Season 4 of Parenthood and now I am a sobbing mess of awesomeness. I will just patiently wait.

37.5 Weeks. Get low, get low, get low!!!!

 

Here it is folks. The big belly shot (even though I'm still measuring small). 3 weeks left until D-Day. Yep, starting to feel like a bowling ball is between my legs and this kid is going to fall out any day. This all made more sense after my doctor's visit last week when they informed me that Oliver's head is so low that I may not even make it another week before delivering. Me=sudden freak out mode.

 

The basketball belly =)

Up until this point, I have actually been feeling okay but now life is just kicking my ass. I am sooooo tired, it is almost unexplainable. I don't remember feeling so tired with Emma but I also didn't have an Emma to run after when coming home and could nap whenever I felt like it. Naps happen in my life if I'm lucky to catch a few zzz's while Emma is napping on the weekends. 

I wish my overachiever teacher brain would disappear and then I would probably feel more at ease. Fall babies are not the easiest for us teachers. Ask most of your May/June birthday friends and I guarantee that most of their parents were teachers. =) It is just a more "convenient" time to go out of work. Leave, have a baby, have the summer off and return to start fresh for a new school year. Well, I'm currently understaffed in my class and have been fighting to try to get another assistant before Oliver arrives because I don't want a totally effed up schedule and psycho students when I come back from maternity leave. Reality is, once I return, I still have FIVE months to finish out the school year and I don't want to come back to a hot mess. Things have not exactly gone my way in the "get all the ducks in a row" department so I am having to exercise my use of "OH WELL" at least 10 times a day. I am at the will of this baby. If my schedule sucks, oh well. If they place an idiot in my class, oh well. If I don't finish IEP meetings early because it "is the responsible thing to do", oh well. If I come back to a hot mess after the baby, oh well. Ugh, sorta sick of saying oh well all the time when I have TRIED to be so proactive. Yeah yeah, oh well.

So now that I am in official freak out mode at the realization that my son can be here ANY day now, I kicked it into high gear and finished most last minute things for Oliver. It's amazing how devoted we could be to preparing for Emma and well, things were not as well laid out for this little man. At least his room is finished. And his clothes are washed. And the hospital bag is finally packed. Here are some pics of the nursery transformation.

 

Mama and Emma shifting from green to blue

 Not so kid-safe yet....

 

Oliver's clothing explosion post baby shower =)

 Painting completed, dresser built and filled with tiny baby boy clothes

 

Crib built and being kept warm by the giant bear that Emma got from Uncle Kenny for her birthday and is too freaked out to actually have in her room

 Hawaiian flavored curtains sewn by Larry's mom =)

 

Now I'm just waiting for this wall decal from Etsy arrive to apply to the wall over his dresser. His name will be white instead of blue =)

I'm not going to rush to be unpregnant but I must say that triple digit weather and being super pregnant has not been the highlight of my life. I go to the doctor tomorrow for another checkup and Friday may just be my last day of work (a week earlier than originally planned). One day at a time right now, but so so eager to meet Oliver soon!

Week 36

In due time, photos will come, but I am literally just too tired to get up and walk over to get my camera to upload pics of my big tummy and of the almost complete nursery. =) All in all, I still feel okay but I am really struggling in the fatigue department. Work has been a bit of insanity lately and Emma seems to have enough energy to power a small city. =) Oliver has earned the nickname of being my little "starfish". He is in constant motion these days with arms and legs spread wide in all different directions. He doesn't have those painful kicks like Emma did but he pretty much constantly digs his little heels into my ribs. I know, pleasant, right?

I'm feeling ready to meet him soon, but not QUITE yet. My water never broke with Emma so I don't know what to expect in that department. My nether regions leaked through my shorts after a long car ride yesterday making me question if my water had broken or if I was experiencing the greatness of Niagra Falls discharge that is common in late stages of pregnancy oooooorr if I had somehow managed to just pee on myself. Since no more leakage occurred, I settled for option 2 and drank a lot of water to help the gnarly Braxton Hicks contractions subside. We've still been dealing with quite a bit of heat so I'm sure dehydration has contributed to my over-active uterus these days.

I have my 36 week checkup on Thursday. I can't believe I have reached the final month already and will be considered "full term" on Friday. Due to yesterday's little scare, I decided to finally pack a hospital bag, pick a "going home outfit" for Oliver and pack it, devise Plan A/B/and C for when I go into labor, purchase the last needed items for the baby and finish the nursery. I am primarily concerned about keeping things as "normal" for Emma when the time comes to go to the hospital.  I want to labor at home as much as possible, but not if that means she is going to see mommy in pain. The thought of how everything is about to change soooo drastically is both exciting and frightening. I adore my daughter and can't imagine loving someone as much as I love her. She will be the best big sister ever. I have no doubt about that. It's crazy and emotional for me to think that I have less than 30 days with her as my only "baby." I'm ready for the change but of course, change is hard for me and imagining things as being "different" both excites and overwhelms me. I am eager to see if my beefcake looks more "asian" than his sister and if he really has daddy's laid back personality like I imagine. I am ready to leave work because it is seriously kicking my ass right now but I am overly anxious about having "all my ducks in a row" before I go on leave. I know I can't control how everything will pan out, although I wish I could. I am ready to see what my "new family" will be like. Soon enough. Soon enough.

33 Weeks and The End of Summer

Well I guess I didn't quite get my ass in gear to actually finish this post two weeks ago. Here are some end of the summer photos of my favorite girl having fun at the Children's Museum and engaging in her new favorite thing, swimming! Glad she didn't end up drowning during lessons after all!

33 weeks and feeling much bigger in this photo. I will try to post baby shower pictures soon. Being back to work the past two weeks has sort of kicked my ass, in addition to the fact that we had NOTHING ready for the baby so our free time has been rather occupied lately. I will do my best at a more thorough update this weekend!